I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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