I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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