Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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