Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
