I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
