I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
