Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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