It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
