He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I love you. Go after that dick
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
