My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
COCAINE IS GR8
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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