so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
