i think my mom watched the whole time
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.