I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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