goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hippo gnu deer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER