if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
