I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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