I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
