I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
