I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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