i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
