it hurts more in the daytime
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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