yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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