Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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