worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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