There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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