My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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