if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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