I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize