Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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