It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize