so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The ass gains better be worth it
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