nutella sex= disaster
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
