Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
