At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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