You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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