Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
