You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize