That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize