Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
