I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
