Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize