id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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