after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
