KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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