i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
