I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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