why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Randomize
