oh god the rape fog is back!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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