@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
