she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
