You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
