the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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