I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
