I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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