yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
