Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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