Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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