Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this will be a night to untag.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
