I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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