That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
