Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
