did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
