...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize