Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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