All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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