i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
