I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
