I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
