you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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