Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
