Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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