I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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